100 Days Project

냉명 for dinner tonight.

forget-thehype:

(Source: s-changg)

Right.

I wrote my last post as a warning because I saw dark times coming for me. Those dark times have arrived. I don’t really know whats going to happen to me just yet but I do know one thing, I have so many things to deal with that I can’t even sit down and feel sorry for myself let alone cry or try and recuperate.

What Happens When A House Is Not a Home?

I don’t really know how many people follow this blog, nor do I know why I am writing this, but I doing this for my own protection almost like a third person view. I am for the first time in a long time going to break a promise. To a few people I promised I would never reach that low of a place that I’d go back to how I felt and thought in high school, but I regret to say I am at that place again. In order to prevent something horrible I hope anyone who see’s this knows.

It would be best for me not to be left alone for long.

Help. No matter how much I fight it. Help Me.

Diamonds.

kawaiimoon:

Isn’t it true that you need a diamond to break another diamond?
I wish it wasn’t.

Day #7

Dear Maria LaRocca,
           Hey Maria! It is finally your turn to receive a letter from your good old (but younger than you) friend Sonny. I’d like to just start out by saying how different you seem to have become over the course of the three years that I’ve known you, and I don’t know if it is because of college or because of life, and I also don’t know if its really that you changed at all, but maybe that you just opened up to us more because you got closer to us. Either way I like that you’ve become so much more out going than you were when we first met. I will say that ever since we first started talking I would have never guessed that you would become someone I talk to a lot and can even turn to for my problems, not that there was something wrong with you I just didn’t really imagine it. Now that we do talk a lot though I can honestly say that you have become a very big part in my life and my only regret when it comes to you would be that while you were here I didn’t get to spend that much time with you. Well I digress, I truly enjoy how you bring back the more entertaining sides of jokes and moments more so than insulting ones. Such as the fact that we all treat you as though you were a child or the most innocent being on the planet to the point where we’ll go crazy over one inappropriate word you say or bash on anyone who bothers/insults you for even a second. Now I know we joke around a lot, but i truly do love you (kidding right?) as a friend though so don’t freak out haha and don’t let Arren make it seem like otherwise! Also don’t tell your mother that either hahaha. Well its about that time to wind down the letter and I’m resisting the urge to bust out some jokes about how you never really get whats going on when anyone in our group becomes a little ridiculous (mostly Arren or myself though haha) but either way I hope to see you soon and bust some Zombie heads.

Maria you are so hilarious
even when you try to be serious,
now I know we confuse you
but we get confused too
on how random we are
but we still got this far
so I don’t worry
and I wish you would hurry,
back here to Maryland
so we could all meet up again.

I love you (stern face hahha),
Sonny Maeng

Day #6

Dear Lillian Tran,
       Hey der Rirrian you are currently bumming it in my room as you usually do when you come over and hang out at my house. Moving along though I’d like to really quickly state how much I appreciate how much you’ve done for me over the years we’ve known each other. I know that when we first met in Japanese class I was super annoying and constantly bothered you, but I like to think of it as my little brother instincts kicking in and its like the world knew we would have that kind of friendship so it made me behave that way naturally. Either way, after meeting you in the class you quickly became one of my greatest friends and guardians. Even though you are my sister’s friend you still take the time out to hear whats going on in my life and how I’m doing even if it’s the stupidest little thing or a huge problem that I need help dealing with. Plus you helped me a lot during my darker times and your random notes/messages really helped me through those times, so thanks. You should know that whenever I mention to people who are the most important or special people in my life I always mention you as my “other sister” who often takes care of me and actually cares about how I am rather than just seeing me as “my friend’s little brother”. I also do enjoy how unique our friendship is, especially seeing as how everyone seems to think there is something more going on (gross) when in reality it’s just that we’re really close. I usually enjoy the moments when we’ll say something like “THIS IS NOT A DATE” and then I’ll make it even awkwarder by saying “Look Lillian, I don’t wanna fight right now…” hahahaha I know most people don’t get it but I know you will and that’s all that really matters right? Well as I’ve pretty much explained in this entire letter, I do really appreciate how much of a help you were for me and how you always look out for me like I’m your little brother and I like how I can make u feel really insecure by joking about your looks (Before = Hot: Now = eh lmao). But yea I just thought you should know that you stand as a constant guiding light and an anchor for whenever I may need help from someone.

I know you might be going to Japan
and it sounds like a great plan,
but I’ll miss you so much
that I’d rather take a punch.
Now even though I’ll be sad
I don’t think it will be bad,
because the lessons you taught
won’t be for naught.
Now even though you’re real far
and I can’t get there by car,
I’ll keep in touch
because I love you so much

Your “replacement date”,      *refers to VSA night thingy lol*
Sonny Maeng

Day #5

Dear Arren Pineda,
         Hey you putris whats up? Just kidding, time to be serious. Arren you have been my friend for about three plus years now and there is something I really need to tell you. You are the most ridiculously funny guy i have ever met in my life. You always seem to have this outrageous ability to find the humor or lighter side of pretty much any situation and you try really hard to be the mediator of all kinds of disputes or arguments. You inspire me to do the same quite often and I try to find the lighter side of things especially arguments and also I try really hard to be funnier because you seem to lighten the mood really well given any circumstances. Now what really amazes me is how much you care and how serious you can be even though you are so lighthearted and cheerful. More often than naught you ask me how I’m doing and really try to get me to talk about the real issues that I try hard not to admit to or face and rather than push me into telling you about it or forcing it out, you have an amazing way of gently giving that “pat on the shoulder” kind of thing that just makes people want to open up to you. In all honesty I feel like you treat people truly as they should be treated, you don’t force them to talk about the issues they need to talk about, instead you gently nudge them in that direction until they are ready to open up and even if it’s not to you, you still feel good about helping someone open up. Along with that you often like to open up to others as well if they open up to you so that you can show that you trust them just as much as they trust you. Those traits are the exact traits of a truly and genuinely good person. You are by far the most genuine good person that I know, you never seem to complain about having to help people or anything like that but rather find gratitude in knowing that they are doing fine or okay. I hope that one day I can be like you and even though i never say it i aspire everyday to be a better person so that maybe I can do for others what you have done for me and countless others.

Hey Batman West
I think you are truly the best,
and you maybe a putris
I know that you got this.
Now I know you like IU
so don’t let her get by you,
because we know you’d treat her right,
cuz you’re the friggin dark knight.

P.s. Alfred tie his shoes.

You’re “Oppa”,
Sonny Maeng

Day #4

Dear Cindy Le,
        Hey there Cindy! How are you doing now a days? It seems like we don’t talk much anymore but I feel like that’s just because you’re very busy and if you are not then CALL ME! lol. Luckily I know that even if we don’t talk for a while we’ll still be the best of friends =]. I guess I quickly wanted to start off by saying how much of an inspiration you are to me. Although you may not directly give me advice or anything like that, you inspire me by your actions. You are always on top of things and very good at prioritizing the practical things in your life that I often mirror that style when planning out my days/weeks. Often when I sit at home and wonder what it is I should be doing and when I should do it I ask “what would Cindy do first”. So thanks for that =], also I’d like to say how much I love you, not because you are with my best friend, but rather because you ARE my best friend. You should know that I am always here for you no matter what and if you ever need my help I’m here for you just like I know you’d be there for me. I know life can be hard sometimes and doing things we aren’t used to or seem scary can be even harder to do but we must work hard to get over those things! I am constantly amazed by how strong of a person you are, because although you don’t realize it, it takes a lot of strength and patience to do all the things that you deal with on a daily basis along with having the strength and self control to do what has to be done more so than what you want to do. I would like it though if you cut back sometimes and just sit back and relax, watch the stars maybe or go to a park and lay on the grass and think of nothing. Maybe we’ll do that together one day =]. I truly enjoy your sense of humor and how up beat of a person you are especially after all the weird and awkwardness I bring to a friendship you seemed to have looked past it to see the kind of person I really am, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate how you constantly remind me how important I am to you and keep my over-dramatic assumptions in check, along with reminding me of how strong I am. You also help me look for the lighter side of things and stay positive about the future that will inevitably be coming so thank you for being a sort of guardian light for me and I hope that one day I can repay you for everything you’ve done for me.

I know that I’m a handsome Maeng
Clearly the pictures show.
When you come to MD, we can surely hang
and see my asian glow. (Arren wrote this.)

You are always inspiring
And I know that can be tiring,
but you do it so well
so sometimes it can be hard to tell
that I care about you so much
so lets grab some lunch!

Love,
Sonny “Handsome” Maeng

Day #3

Dear Christine Chen,

         Hey Silverclaim! Man I haven’t used that name in forever lol. Well I once again seem to be at a loss of words at where to start with this haha. We’ve been through so much together since we met and although it hasn’t always been smooth we seem to get by pretty well. I guess the first thing I’d like to say is how important of a person you are to me. You are one my best friends and very near and dear to my heart, you constantly keep me leveled and although it may not seem so you help bring me up when I’m down (usually by yelling at me but that’s ok i guess). Now I know you have problems when it comes to knowing who your real friends are and who you can rely on let alone open up to, but i hope you know that even though we may not always talk or talk all the time i am one of those people you can lean on. Ever since the day we met i made it one of my priorities to be there for you, not because you need it or anything like that but rather it was because i wanted to be that friend to you that you could go to for anything, whether it was crying about stupid things, yelling about someone pissing you off, or sharing a laugh because something was funny. I know that you really enjoy having someone around all the time both emotionally and physically and although i can’t do both of those all the time you should know that I’m always with you no matter what happens and if ANYTHING ever happens you can call me. I feel sometimes that you question how much you can depend on me, but you should know that i depend on you a lot and i can only hope u feel the same in return. I also hope that you never question how close we are as friends, because even though you’re not used to it, we will always be the best of friends no matter how long we don’t talk or how long we don’t see each other. Now i do wish we could see each other more often, but sadly distance has created a rift between us, and i know someone being there physically to comfort you is much better than hearing it through the phone/text/video chat, but i do the best that i can and you have to admit i do pretty well. Well to finish up on a happier note, I’ll say that our friendship is still pretty bomb seeing as how we complement each other pretty well and we play off one another’s weaknesses and i think that works well with us. We know each other almost inside and out and so I just wanted to give u a quick reminder of how much our friendship means to me.

You made me take down my last poem
I really wish I could have shown’em
how funny it was for me to write
but I’m pretty sure it would have started a fight.
It sucks that I can’t see you whenever
and honestly it feels like forever
since we last hung out
but no need to pout,
Cuz you’re as cute as a bug
so just wait and I’ll give you a hug.
Now you’re too short to hug my head
so you’ll have to make due with my chest
I know after saying that I’ll be dead
so I’ll just have to wish for the best.

You’re Short,
Sonny Maeng